Satire on Briarcliff High School
Opinions belong to each author and do not reflect the opinions or views of the Briarcliff Bulletin
By Sarah Dolgin Volume 69, Issue III Attention all regular earbud users, with the wires still attached, your vehicle for jamming out is now considered the plebeian way of listening to music. If you can, go to the nearest apple store pronto, because you never know what the Airpod users will do to you if they see that you are still old-fashioned enough to listen … Continue reading The Rise of AirPods
By Sarah Dolgin Volume 69, Issue II In order to swindle your Valentine into taking you out during this “cuffing season,” there are a few key steps to follow. First, you must recite every line of Love Actually at his or her lunch table, which will surely catch everyone’s attention while exemplifying your dedication. You must learn how to play “The Way You Look Tonight” … Continue reading How to Win Someone Over for Valentine’s Day
By Sean Fischer and Sarah Dolgin Volume 69, Issue II Q: Hiya Sean and Sarah, I have had this problem for quite some time now, and I really could use your fantastic advice. Before I start this off, I need to give you some background. Ever since I was young, my mother has packed my lunch with a Mott’s Apple Juice and a little post-it … Continue reading Sean & Sarah’s Social Q’s
By Jolie Wasserman Volume 69, Issue I During this fall sports season, Briarcliff High School seniors who cannot bend it like Beckham nor have experienced sufficient severe head trauma to be crazy enough to play football elect the senior alternative. In layman’s terms, the senior alternative is a sly way of getting out of gym class by either going to a gym or having a … Continue reading North State Road’s Hidden Gem: Club Fit
By Sarah Dolgin Volume 68, Issue II The New Year is approaching; the time of year when raw honesty envelops the world. It is miraculous how consistent people seem to be with their resolutions. Obviously, you are going to keep up with your new-year-new-me workout regimen for more than a two social media posts, start eating quinoa with every meal and cut down on your … Continue reading Don’t Lie for “Auld Land Syne”
By Charlotte Fink Volume 68, Issue II Parents, stop trying to emulate your kids. Whether it’s the precarious fashion decisions or the pitiful attempts at teenage lingo, please stick to being parents and don’t be #highschoolforever. As a high schooler, I can tell you that you can’t quite pull off camo the way your 15-year-old daughters can. Sorry parents, your glory days have passed. Please … Continue reading Parents: Worry About your Hips, not About Being Hip
Volume 68, Issue I By Sarah Dolgin Tears stream down the hunger-stricken faces of students as they flock into the beloved Pat V. Maresca Center strictly to do their work. The Golden Age of the Maresca has ended, and students mourn the good old days when they could eat their lunches while doing their work at the same time! With signs entailing the demise of any … Continue reading Maresca Mayhem Drives Students Mad
By Sean Fischer Volume 67, Issue III All the students and faculty at BHS anxiously await every new edition of the Bulletin, that is just a know fact. What still remains a mystery is how our readers pass the time in between issues. Here is a list of activities that could ease your angst (and pass the time). 1) Go for a stroll. The fresh … Continue reading Things to Do While Waiting for the Next Bulletin to Come Out
By Sarah Albert Volume 67, Issue I Say goodbye to your beloved Briarcliff Bulletin! After over 90 years of honorable, intellectual and satirical writing, the dynasty of the Briarcliff Bulletin is coming to a close. Established during the 1920s, the Briarcliff Bulletin was the one and only school paper offering all of the current news, sports, and arts updates to its loyal supporters; the BHS … Continue reading Briarcliff Bulletin Shuts Down: This is Our Last Issue
By Sean Fischer Volume 67, Issue I As students from all grades compete to be the trendiest and best-dressed person, another group of fashionistas also joined the rivalry: teachers. Four teachers in particular show up to school everyday dressed to impress. Ms. Fernandez, Ms. McCarthy, Ms. Murphy, and Ms. Brilliant are some of the most stylish members of our school community, out-styling students from every … Continue reading Teacher Fashion
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