Satire on Briarcliff High School
Opinions belong to each author and do not reflect the opinions or views of the Briarcliff Bulletin
By Sarah Dolgin Volume 69, Issue III Attention all regular earbud users, with the wires still attached, your vehicle for jamming out is now considered the plebeian way of listening to music. If you can, go to the nearest apple store pronto, because you never know what the Airpod users will do to you if they see that you are still old-fashioned enough to listen … Continue reading The Rise of AirPods
By Sarah Dolgin Volume 69, Issue II In order to swindle your Valentine into taking you out during this “cuffing season,” there are a few key steps to follow. First, you must recite every line of Love Actually at his or her lunch table, which will surely catch everyone’s attention while exemplifying your dedication. You must learn how to play “The Way You Look Tonight” … Continue reading How to Win Someone Over for Valentine’s Day
By Sean Fischer and Sarah Dolgin Volume 69, Issue II Q: Hiya Sean and Sarah, I have had this problem for quite some time now, and I really could use your fantastic advice. Before I start this off, I need to give you some background. Ever since I was young, my mother has packed my lunch with a Mott’s Apple Juice and a little post-it … Continue reading Sean & Sarah’s Social Q’s
By Jolie Wasserman Volume 69, Issue I During this fall sports season, Briarcliff High School seniors who cannot bend it like Beckham nor have experienced sufficient severe head trauma to be crazy enough to play football elect the senior alternative. In layman’s terms, the senior alternative is a sly way of getting out of gym class by either going to a gym or having a … Continue reading North State Road’s Hidden Gem: Club Fit
By Will Zimmerman Volume 68, Issue IV Everyone’s favorite teacher is the laid back one, right? During four years of high school, you’re bound to have at least one of these teachers; the kind who pushes back deadlines and doesn’t collect homework. With these teachers, learning is relaxed. That is until an administrator comes to watch. The teacher makes sure you know an administrator is … Continue reading Admin. Visits Turn Classes Upside Down
By Sarah Dolgin Volume 68, Issue II The New Year is approaching; the time of year when raw honesty envelops the world. It is miraculous how consistent people seem to be with their resolutions. Obviously, you are going to keep up with your new-year-new-me workout regimen for more than a two social media posts, start eating quinoa with every meal and cut down on your … Continue reading Don’t Lie for “Auld Land Syne”
By Charlotte Fink Volume 68, Issue II Parents, stop trying to emulate your kids. Whether it’s the precarious fashion decisions or the pitiful attempts at teenage lingo, please stick to being parents and don’t be #highschoolforever. As a high schooler, I can tell you that you can’t quite pull off camo the way your 15-year-old daughters can. Sorry parents, your glory days have passed. Please … Continue reading Parents: Worry About your Hips, not About Being Hip
