By Scott Benson

We admit it. When we raise our hands and ask to go to the bathroom, there’s a 50-50 chance that we aren’t really heading to the restroom.

But when was the last time you saw one of your teachers slip out of the classroom for five minutes?

Sometimes students forget that teachers are people too. People with bladders.

Students can leave a classroom, a freedom taken for granted. But some teachers have several classes in a row, begging the question: When do teachers use the bathroom?

Do they nip into the faculty bathroom two hallways down at warp speed? Do they wait until lunchtime? Limit liquids? Re-live toilet training—with an end goal of going for hours without a break?

As with any research question, the Internet offers some ideas. Here’s an excerpt from one teachers’ blog:

“I’m sure we’ve all had days when we realize at 3:30 we haven’t gone to the bathroom once. The longer I teach, the more I feel like it’s a prison sentence.”

Another teacher tackles the topic:

“Bathroom breaks I wish. I’m dreading giving up water once school starts. It just not worth having to do the tinkle dance for hours wishing the clock would move faster and the kids would go to lunch. How do other people get through it?”

We approached our very own Briarcliff High School teachers to solve the mystery. Surely at least a few would be willing to disclose this closely guarded secret?

No. They remained tight-lipped.

“I don’t feel comfortable discussing this subject,” Mr. Bordonaro said. “I’m not talking to you about bathrooms!” Anthony Muranelli exclaimed.

Dr. Kenney, at least, did supply an answer. He revealed that the elusive secret was “Nunya.”

Asked to elaborate, he responded with a smirk. “Nunya business.”